Asian Teen Born With Her 'Head Over Her Ass' Leads Peculiar Life (Satire)

Maritus Barbitubate, a 17 year old in Tong-Tong China, was born with what many would consider a physical abnormality, but to Maritus Baritubate, it isn't something to stop her from living a normal, healthy, if somewhat peculiar and freakish, life.

Maritus was born with her head, not on her shoulders, but just above her rear-end and yet this has not hindered her cheerfully cranky, happy yet miserable, disposition.

As Maritus says:

"O....well.....you know....living with my head up my ass....so to speak, has given me many challenges that the average teenager does not have to endure.

I have to walk backwards, for example, in order to see where I am going, or otherwise I'd just see where I have been.

Also I have to have my clothes designed with a rear-door opening for my head to stick out. Naturally I can't just buy things 'off the rack' at Old Navy or The Gap.

When I eat I have to sit with my bum on the table so my mouth will get the food.....and so on. There are lots of problems.

The worst is when I go to the bathroom....then I have to watch it happen first-hand, and that's no fun when I do a number 2! O my....the smell! And of course I have to breath in all my farts and so on."

Let us all be thankful we have our heads on our shoulders, unlike this brave Chinese gal, who has many friends and of whom we could say "she really uses her head!"

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