Church Elders Shoot Lesbians with Paint-ball Guns to Mark them as Sinners
Church Elders Shoot Lesbians with Paintball to 'Mark them as Sinners'
Shrekville,Alabama--Many fundamentalist Christians take same sex couples as sinful and dirty and nasty examples of going against the teachings of the Church, in this case 'The Holy-Roller Church of the Master's Touch' in Shrekville, in the heart of what is often called 'the bible-belt'.
In the bible-belt you can get the belt (literally) for sinning in many ways, one of which is practising love of your neighboor if they happen to have boobs and you do too. In other words, lesbians.
The Holy-Roller Church of the Master's Touch has a group of Elders, who have taken to hunting down and shooting lesbians. They shoot with paint-ball guns to mark the victims and let everyone see the sinners in their midst.
As Gladys Hoover-Beaver, a 69 year old Elder of the Church put it:
" Heavens alive! What kind of teen wants to kiss another girl? I mean it's downright against Scriptures and it is a sin so help me Hanna! I know cause I reads it in the ancient book called the Bible which is so old and written by them smart Jewish people who know how to spin a tale and the tale they spun is true to the will of God as I know beccause I speaks to Him every day personally on my God-hot-line which I have installed right next to my telephone and when it rings I listen. I say shoot them dirty girls with paint-balls! Shoot them good!
They are fun to shoot and often try to run before I gets a good bead on them, but I am a good shot and get them all orange or red or some nice color to show they are sinners of the highest degree! Yup. Yup. That is what I do and God told me to do it on my special telephone hot-line so I know it is the right thing to do to those nasty girls."
So far law-enforcement has taken this as a good thing to do and it will clean-up Shrekville good and scare the lesbians straight, according to Sheriff Tonsul Ipicake who wants his town clean, and lesbian-free.
Do you think this strategy will work?
Comment below.
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Shrekville,Alabama--Many fundamentalist Christians take same sex couples as sinful and dirty and nasty examples of going against the teachings of the Church, in this case 'The Holy-Roller Church of the Master's Touch' in Shrekville, in the heart of what is often called 'the bible-belt'.
In the bible-belt you can get the belt (literally) for sinning in many ways, one of which is practising love of your neighboor if they happen to have boobs and you do too. In other words, lesbians.
The Holy-Roller Church of the Master's Touch has a group of Elders, who have taken to hunting down and shooting lesbians. They shoot with paint-ball guns to mark the victims and let everyone see the sinners in their midst.
As Gladys Hoover-Beaver, a 69 year old Elder of the Church put it:
" Heavens alive! What kind of teen wants to kiss another girl? I mean it's downright against Scriptures and it is a sin so help me Hanna! I know cause I reads it in the ancient book called the Bible which is so old and written by them smart Jewish people who know how to spin a tale and the tale they spun is true to the will of God as I know beccause I speaks to Him every day personally on my God-hot-line which I have installed right next to my telephone and when it rings I listen. I say shoot them dirty girls with paint-balls! Shoot them good!
They are fun to shoot and often try to run before I gets a good bead on them, but I am a good shot and get them all orange or red or some nice color to show they are sinners of the highest degree! Yup. Yup. That is what I do and God told me to do it on my special telephone hot-line so I know it is the right thing to do to those nasty girls."
So far law-enforcement has taken this as a good thing to do and it will clean-up Shrekville good and scare the lesbians straight, according to Sheriff Tonsul Ipicake who wants his town clean, and lesbian-free.
Do you think this strategy will work?
Comment below.
To Subscribe Hit the button below and don't forget to share on Facebook and Twitter !
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