Boob-Prints Replacing Finger-Prints in FBI Database (Satire)
Boob-Prints Replacing Finger-Prints in FBI Database
The FBI announced today that they are making the change-over from finger-prints, to 'boob-prints' in the identification of criminals.
Herbie Hancock of the FBI's Identification Division, in Langley, Nevada, said:
"We have found that women's boobs are the best and clearest way to identify a criminal boob.
Criminal boobs are unique in many ways, which I am not at liberty to divulge at this time.
However, all breasts are very individual and a criminal 'rack' on a suspect stands out to the expert like a sore thumb.
Men have similar tits but not as easy to recognize on sight and have to be printed first to see the criminal marks on the tit.
Women having busty boobs are the most fun to analyze as they are scientifically top-heavy with information.
We can even tell which females are likely criminals just by looking at their bust, but feeling the boobs helps even more, which many FBI investigators are getting training in right now. In fact there is a waiting-list.
From the Desk of WowWow! News
The FBI announced today that they are making the change-over from finger-prints, to 'boob-prints' in the identification of criminals.
Herbie Hancock of the FBI's Identification Division, in Langley, Nevada, said:
"We have found that women's boobs are the best and clearest way to identify a criminal boob.
Criminal boobs are unique in many ways, which I am not at liberty to divulge at this time.
However, all breasts are very individual and a criminal 'rack' on a suspect stands out to the expert like a sore thumb.
Men have similar tits but not as easy to recognize on sight and have to be printed first to see the criminal marks on the tit.
Women having busty boobs are the most fun to analyze as they are scientifically top-heavy with information.
We can even tell which females are likely criminals just by looking at their bust, but feeling the boobs helps even more, which many FBI investigators are getting training in right now. In fact there is a waiting-list.
From the Desk of WowWow! News
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