Mystery Sex Affair Wows David Cameron's Office and Sparks Secret Cabinet Meeting

TAYLOR BERMAN
Yesterday 8:14pmg 36,085L 186

According to an intriguing but frustratingly vague report in the Daily Mail, UK Prime Minister David Cameron and his office at No. 10 Downing Street are in the midst of dealing with a sex scandal described by the Mail's sources as “stunn[ing],” “dynamite,” “a complete mess” and “of great personal distress to innocent parties.” But what's the scandal, and who exactly does it involve? No one who knows is saying, at least not publicly.

The Daily Mail reports the scandal is serious enough that it inspired “crisis talks” at Downing Street after a "stunned" Cameron “immediately realized the importance of the story.” In addition, the Mail said the scandal would likely generate a public reaction similar to the one in 2002, after it was revealed that former Prime Minister John Major and former Parliament member Edwina Currie had a four-year affair in the late 1980s. The Mail also noted that the affair does not involve anyone serving in the Cabinet. Otherwise, the paper — for legal reasons, they said — avoided releasing any other significant details.

For legal reasons, The Mail on Sunday cannot disclose the identities of the people involved or any details of the relationship – even its duration – other than that they are middle-aged figures. The affair has now concluded.
So, two (or more!) middle-aged people with ties to Cameron's office (but not Cabinet members) are involved in a sex affair so scandalous that it would, according to the Mail, "blow out of the water" any political agenda pushed forward by the Prime Minister in the next few months.

Any guesses on who it might be? Let us know in Kinja (the comments)!

As you might expect, Cameron hasn't addressed or even acknowledged the report, though it seems worth noting that recently he's been especially forgetful. Last week, police officers had to rush 30 miles from Cameron's home on Downing Street to Gatwick Airport after the PM realized he'd forgotten his passport at home. Then again, this is the same guy who once accidentally left his eight-year-old daughter at a pub, so who knows how much the alleged sex scandal is to blame.