California to Allow Lesbian Gay Manniquins to Marry

California to Allow Gay Mannequins to Marry

In an historic decision Monday, California lawmakers, after enormous pressure from the state's mannikin lobby in Fresno, have voted in a 41% majority to permit gay and lesbian manikins to wed.

Speaking for mannequins United, a non-profit organization behind the push, counsel Morris Slatkin spoke to the press:

"This is a great day for all the non-biological life-forms of not only California, but all of it's department store windows...indeed anywhere a mannikin's rights have been trampled upon.  

Manikins may be only human-like individuals, and they may not breathe air, or eat food, or turn their heads or blink their eyes...but that does not mean...I repeat....that does NOT mean they don't have the right to marry members of their own sex!  We have lived too long in a society where those of us who are just a little 'different' are shunted aside, as though they were second-class citizens. "

Slatkin finished, a tear rolling down his cheek as he said: "Some of my best friends are mannikins and I for one will be the first to say 'I've never met an artificial,plaster-of-paris person I didn't like.' 

Govenor Jerry Brown is expected to himself perform the first gay mannikin marriage later this week, in the department store window of Juicy Couture's. 

Next Up: 
Should Puppets be Permitted to Own Firearms? 



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