Monday, January 4, 2016

Perfect Teen's' Nipple-Span is One Octave, says Researcher

Perfect Teen's' Nipple-Span is One Octave, says Researcher

nipple span (satire)

Perfect Woman's Nipple-Span is One Octave says Researcher

In a recent study, released by S.E.X. (Studies for Excellent Xylophones) in Massala, India, it was stated that after measuring many hundreds of topless women around the world, a 'perfect woman' should have between her nips, the span equal to one octave on a piano.

In other words, if a man's hand can touch both nipples of a woman with his thumb and pinky fingers resting each on one nipple, then the woman is considered to have 'perfect proportions' similar to the golden mean and other such measurements of ancient times.

Professor H.R.Huffinpuff, who did much of the research himself, manually, said:

"A cute teen who has this span of one octave between breasts, for example, should be very happy and have the opportunity to go topless to spread the golden proportions of her nips to all who can see them, thus raising the level of artistic appreciation in the population at large."

Professor Huffinpuff added:

"I used my own hands to measure many women, and I found that those who had the perfect distance of one octave are generally more exciting to touch and have very artistic qualities which the world needs to see more of in order to get an education in what true beauty is. I am not talking about erotic beauty, but rather perfect, Platonic type beauty that Plato yackked on and on about many years ago."

It is hoped that perfect women will show their perfection and thereby world peace, dare I say, may be attained and an end to squabbles and fights over silly things will come about, so that we may veiw topless women in all their golden-mean and octave-spanning glory....

Thank you for your attention.